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| Rev Victoria Osteen and Rev Joel Osteen |
Dear Ichabod,
I am a positive person, as everyone knows, and I wanted to ignore your blog, which nobody reads. But my attorneys and my wife urged me to demand a cease and desist.
You compared me to Mark Jeske, which is cruel, slanderous, and unfair. You did not sit down with me and share your concerns with me. And why drag my name through the Wisconsin Synod mud? Or is that Missouri mud? Vickie and I cannot figure out where this Jeske comes from. But we are all going to the same place, right?
First - I do not use my position to sell insurance. Nor would I ever use my newsletters and worship materials to promote a business like that. Can you imagine me thanking Thrivent for $14.57 in matching funds? We had $600,000 stolen from our safe. You know what we said, "There goes coffee hour for a week!"
Second - Your Thrivent people invited The Wolf of Wall Street to be a motivational speaker at their big meeting. They loved listening to a coke addict, stock fraudster, liar, adulterer. I would never sink that low or be on their governing board. I have principles.
Third - I would never beg a bunch of businesses to donate stuff we could sell, and hire attorneys to arrange it for us. And your Mark Jeske already has his schools supported with taxes. You know what we say in Texas? "How many trotters can you stick in the feeding trough? Not more than four? Haha."
Fourth - I teach and live prosperity. Your guy advocates urban ministry but lives in a luxury house away from his church. I am consistent, even though I borrowed a lot of my tips from your Wisconsin people. Talk rich, live rich - my motto.
All I need is for you to apologize for the post and stop comparing me to Mark Jeske. I will never sink to that level, I promise.
Yours In Making Every Day a Friday,
Rev. Joel Osteen.
PS - My dear husband Joel is too busy doing positive and uplifting things to write a letter to a blogster nobody reads, so I composed the letter and signed it for him. His lifelong quest is to keep me out of jail, so don't go and make me really mad.
Love,
The Reverend Victoria Osteen