Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Where Were the Leaders?
Place eyes everywhere. And lock up rooms that are not in use. Abuse happens when a church is not watchful. An open door to an unoccupied room is an invitation and opportunity for a perpetrator. A church that is diligent in its efforts to prevent abuse will frustrate those with evil intentions. My church assigned deacons to walk the halls, walk the parking lot, and look into the various rooms of the church during our worship services and other activities. We realized that the more eyes we have watching our facilities, the safer our church became. - Making Church a Safe Place, by Charles Burkeen
I wish I could find the perfect words to express how extremely important that paragraph is. If my church had been even half that vigilant, it would have been a thousand times more difficult for this to happen. However, since he was the "popular pastor", everyone seemed oblivious to what was happening under their noses because no one thought it could happen "in their church".
And I mean... literally under their nose because the longer it went on, the bolder he got and the more risks he took. It was extremely stressful when it happened within close proximity of congregational leaders’… sometimes just a few doors away. I could hear them discussing church business while I was behind a locked door with the Pastor in a dark closet. Yet no one knew because all the red flags were missed. Why would NO one question a pastor coming out of a closet with someone..with anyone? Should that not be the biggest red flag of all?
If the church leaders had been observant enough to pick up on the red flags, they would have caught it. I know they would have because it was so obvious. Especially since it wasn't only one or two leaders that had the opportunity but, over the course of time, it was the majority of them - from the Church President on down. Every single one missed every "red flag". Everyone seemed to have the mentality that "it can't happen to us" so no one paid attention. I lost faith in the congregational leaders after that because they were totally oblivious to what was happening around them.
I was crying inside (more like screaming) for someone to recognize it. I was too afraid to say anything because I didn't know who I could trust. My only option was to hope for someone to see a warning sign...but no one did. I know for a "normal" person it will probably be hard to understand why the fear of telling someone was so great, and I don't know how to put that into words. But it was the controlling factor of my life. The thought of telling anyone terrified me more than anything else in the world because I was petrified of what would happen.
It's probably wrong to feel this way, but sometimes I blame the congregational leaders more than the pastor even. He was so controlled by his physical urges that he couldn't stop himself anymore, even if he wanted to. He was that out-of-control by this time. But that wasn't true with the leaders of the congregation. They could have stopped it. Most of them had at least one opportunity to stop it, if not more... because basically every one of them saw at least one "red flag" but failed to recognize it.
The pastor caused me to lose faith in God but the leaders caused me to lose trust in the church.
I remember another time when I was upset and crying wanting this to stop and trying to distance myself from him. We had a pretty big disagreement and, again, a congregational leader happened to be walking past while we were disagreeing and said to me afterwards…"that sounded like you two were having a husband and wife fight". I made a flimsy excuse trying to say something without having to actually come right out and say it. But, as was the pattern, he never questioned further. Never asked for more information. Never asked why I was crying over that "fight". He just dropped it.
Another time the church president, himself, was maybe 5 feet away on the other side of a locked door looking for the pastor because he needed to talk to him about church business. When I opened the door, there he was standing right there. I can still vividly remember the sheer terror and panic I felt when I saw him there. My heart literally stopped beating because I thought.... This is it. This is the end. But no. Nothing. The thought that something was amiss apparently seemed to be the furthest thing from his mind, because he went on like nothing was happening.
So many people came so close to finding out the truth, but for some reason, everyone always dropped it and never questioned anything. No one ever pushed to see what was actually happening… and it was happening daily under everyone’s nose.
I wish I could find the perfect words to express how extremely important that paragraph is. If my church had been even half that vigilant, it would have been a thousand times more difficult for this to happen. However, since he was the "popular pastor", everyone seemed oblivious to what was happening under their noses because no one thought it could happen "in their church".
And I mean... literally under their nose because the longer it went on, the bolder he got and the more risks he took. It was extremely stressful when it happened within close proximity of congregational leaders’… sometimes just a few doors away. I could hear them discussing church business while I was behind a locked door with the Pastor in a dark closet. Yet no one knew because all the red flags were missed. Why would NO one question a pastor coming out of a closet with someone..with anyone? Should that not be the biggest red flag of all?
If the church leaders had been observant enough to pick up on the red flags, they would have caught it. I know they would have because it was so obvious. Especially since it wasn't only one or two leaders that had the opportunity but, over the course of time, it was the majority of them - from the Church President on down. Every single one missed every "red flag". Everyone seemed to have the mentality that "it can't happen to us" so no one paid attention. I lost faith in the congregational leaders after that because they were totally oblivious to what was happening around them.
I was crying inside (more like screaming) for someone to recognize it. I was too afraid to say anything because I didn't know who I could trust. My only option was to hope for someone to see a warning sign...but no one did. I know for a "normal" person it will probably be hard to understand why the fear of telling someone was so great, and I don't know how to put that into words. But it was the controlling factor of my life. The thought of telling anyone terrified me more than anything else in the world because I was petrified of what would happen.
It's probably wrong to feel this way, but sometimes I blame the congregational leaders more than the pastor even. He was so controlled by his physical urges that he couldn't stop himself anymore, even if he wanted to. He was that out-of-control by this time. But that wasn't true with the leaders of the congregation. They could have stopped it. Most of them had at least one opportunity to stop it, if not more... because basically every one of them saw at least one "red flag" but failed to recognize it.
The pastor caused me to lose faith in God but the leaders caused me to lose trust in the church.
I remember another time when I was upset and crying wanting this to stop and trying to distance myself from him. We had a pretty big disagreement and, again, a congregational leader happened to be walking past while we were disagreeing and said to me afterwards…"that sounded like you two were having a husband and wife fight". I made a flimsy excuse trying to say something without having to actually come right out and say it. But, as was the pattern, he never questioned further. Never asked for more information. Never asked why I was crying over that "fight". He just dropped it.
Another time the church president, himself, was maybe 5 feet away on the other side of a locked door looking for the pastor because he needed to talk to him about church business. When I opened the door, there he was standing right there. I can still vividly remember the sheer terror and panic I felt when I saw him there. My heart literally stopped beating because I thought.... This is it. This is the end. But no. Nothing. The thought that something was amiss apparently seemed to be the furthest thing from his mind, because he went on like nothing was happening.
So many people came so close to finding out the truth, but for some reason, everyone always dropped it and never questioned anything. No one ever pushed to see what was actually happening… and it was happening daily under everyone’s nose.
***
GJ - The answer is - everyone knew. Or, perhaps many congregational leaders knew but chose not to do anything about it.
Two members of the Michigan District WELS praesidium, a VP and the secretary (both pastors) were carrying on when I was in Columbus. DP Mueller admitted to all the pastors that he lied to the VP's congregation, wife, and everyone else to cover for his friend. He forgot to mention getting his pal a choice job for a happy landing, running a WELS nursing home.
I wrote to every pastor in the Michigan District - and they re-elected Mueller and Kuske. One "friend's" remark was that I was politicking, a sin in WELS.
Mueller and Kuske were cheerleaders for various clergy adulterers, but their mercy did not "drop as the gentle rain from heaven" for anyone who challenged their inerrancy. Then it was - Off with their heads while extending the Left Foot of Fellowship. The current DP, John Seifert, knew all about it, but did nothing apart from leveraging the situation to become DP. Mueller "chose not to run" and got a free trip Russia on Schwan money. Mueller was voted out of office. Do something - Pow! Do nothing - become DP.
The pastor who exposed the adultery of Mueller's clergy pal - he felt the wrath of the district leaders.
I knew a member of the district secretary's congregation. She said, "When it was clear he was leaving the ministry, all the divorced and single women began crying their eyes out."
The short answer is - the "conservative" WELS-ELS-LCMS leaders and clergy are quite tolerant of clergy adultery and child abuse. They are too busy elbowing each other away from the Schwan-Thrivent-Antioch money troughs.
The current president of the ELS seminary knew all about the Columbus situation at the time. His answer was to say when I was present, "It hurts the face of the church" to address those issues. That is one reason he went from 'umble parish pastor to become seminary president - doing and saying nothing.